from the deranged head of a willing social worker

I willingly chose a "helping profession". Since I'm going to be poor and care about other people for at least the next three years, I get to talk about those I help. Even Stevens.

Identifying information is changed.

Aug 6, 2009 9:11pm


I’m thinking about applying for a job at the Department of Social Services.  I think I could do it for just one year, and then go to graduate school.  Will this cause me to hate myself and go to hell.  On the plus, if i got hired I would be making 10 - 15000 more a year than I’m make now.  On the negative, it’s DSS.  Yes or No?

Jul 31, 2009 11:24pm

I don’t want to offend you or anything

I was talking to a client about hair, when all of a sudden she got really awkward and says, “well, I don’t know how you feel about the gays, but my hair dressers is gay”. I just laughed and said I love the gays, it’s 2009”. Then we discussed the gay men in our lives that we loved.

Jun 29, 2009 11:19pm

Healthy choice

Right as I was about to eat my dinner, a drunk lady refused to leave the shelter unless I gave her a pair of comfortable shoes. I went to get her some shoes. When I came back, she was having a seizure. I placed my frozen meal down somewhere in between realizing she was having a seizure, calling 911, and yelling can you hear me. After the ambulance took her away, I went to find my dinner, and it was gone. I think I know who stole it. Triflin’, using an emergency to steal my Healthy Choice Sweet Asian Pot stickers. I’m going to McDonalds. Stress makes social workers fat!

Jun 25, 2009 11:05pm


I watched the Michael Jackson coverage with the shelter residents. Michael brought together the two warring groups in the house. One woman does not believe he is dead. However, she also believes that Lee Harvey Oswald killed Martin Luther King. We were all upset that the ABC coverage included the allegations of misconduct. Let the man had the dignity in death that the press would not give him during his life.

Jun 20, 2009 3:31am

It’s not mine I promise

I have been searching the internet with my client to figure out how long it will take to get pot out of her system. We had to decide if she was a constant smoker or an regular smoker. She was smoking every day, twice a day, about a “nickel bag”. It has been a month since she last smoked pot, and she failed a drug test today. On a positive note she tested negative for “powder” (cocaine) and meth. We are guessing it will take another month for her to pee clean. She has decided to buy synthetic urine just to be safe. I hope my boss doesn’t check my internet history. Yesterday I was looking up STD symptoms for a resident.

Jun 17, 2009 6:55pm
People from Asheville have great legs. I think it’s from walking up all of these hills. Look at your legs. They’re great! (Pointing at my calves) They’re all thick and fat. My legs are so skinny, it looks like I missings something - . - my client who is awkward and from the Midwest
Jun 16, 2009 11:19pm

My office smells like cancer

For the first time ever I saw white women curly perming their hair. It smelled horrible and looked worse than it smelled. I felt like it was 1985. I asked so many questions. I have now forgiven all white people for asking me 50 million questions about my dreds and/or hair weave. Also, tonight a client said about some actor, “he’s so fine, he must be a faggot”. This was after a conversation where she said all gays were molested, causing them to be gay. I told her I believe people are born gay. She then started talking to me about her daily struggle not to be gay. I didn’t tell her that means she is most likely a homo.

Jun 5, 2009 7:03pm

the new 19 year old Golden Girls

The ladies are talking about sex, again. Client A said that women always fall in love with the first person they have sex with. Client B said that’s not true, and it didn’t happen to her. Client A then asked Client B how old she was when she lost her virginity. Client B said 19. Client A then said, “you were a old lady and that’s why you didn’t fall in love”.

Jun 4, 2009 11:58pm


My client told me she likes the way I dress because I “look classy, but not like my cloths cost a lot of money”. She also said that she loves that “someone as dark as me” wears such bright colors confidently.

Jun 4, 2009 6:02pm

Checklists are not magic

This toddler kept crying. So I went to check on him and his teen mom. The mom was on her cell phone. The kid was rolling around on the floor, taking off his socks. So I went through this checklist called “Why is my baby crying”. The answer, the baby is sick and doesn’t feel good. The mom then rolls her eyes like the checklist made her kid sick and the kid was fine before I came into the room.

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